To whom it may concern:

What defines you? 

Is it the people you hang around? Is it the struggles you face? Is it the diease you may have? My store manager once told me one day while cleaning "Chelsi, different eyes see different things." I went with it but never forgot that saying. That saying has been on my heart all day today. See, Dystonia doesn't define me. It's not that title to 'Chelsi Christman' nor will it ever be. It shapes me. It makes me have this love for others that I wouldv'e never had otherwise. 

 This past month has been filled with a love that only Jesus could give me. A love that only comes through him. No human could ever love the way my Jesus loves me. No human could take a struggle and turn it into determation to help and love others.

As the streets throughout d.c. filled with homeless people my heart hurt for them. Wondering what their story was? What lead them to the point of sleeping outside? What lead them to being hungry? In that moment I realized each and everyone of us has a story. From being homeless to having health struggles. Everyone comes with a story. I believe Jesus writes the good parts of our stories to show us and the world how strong he is through the most heartbreaking stories.

 My first week back to work from a week of just dystonia friend's, and parents whom live this life daily was incredibly tough. I knew I was coming back to people whom loved me. Whom love me daily without any question. I knew that I was missed. I knew that they were proud and awaiting for my return to share this amazing experience. The experience of a lifetime, An experience only Jesus could've took me on. I knew that I was coming back to a world that didn't live this life daily.

 My first week back quickly filled with tough decsions. Decsions that were hopeful but somewhat scary. New mediccations. MRI. Deep Brain simulation discussions. It's safe to say that my heart quickly broke. New medication only meant new side effects. An MRI only meant money, time off work. Deep brain simulation only meant were close to the end of our options. At twenty four years old most are dating, having families, making the decsion on what family car they want, the house they want, the schools their child will go too. Not so much major brain surgrey. Something that is so out of my control. I'm reminded daily from little children Jesus loves. In their words "A 1,000 days means 100 years. It's in the bible. Jesus loves for 100 years so we love others for that long too." While a 100 years is a long time and in the eyes of a child 100 years is forever. Jesus loves for enterity. To think someone loves me through the struggles, therough the unknown, through the not so great parts of my story is amazing to me. That someone would see me so beautifully even through the discussion of deep brain surgey. Without hair.

I've learned so much about myself these last few months. First, I've learned that I have a story. A beautiful story that only Jesus could write. A story that still has puropse. A story that loves through the most diffcult times. A story that has lead to amazing witnessing for Jesus. Secondly, I've learned that while I do have broken parts in this story that Jesus's takes the pen and keeps on writing. That I don't have to figure it all out this week because he holds my tomorrow in his hands. Thirdly, That when I am weak he is strong. When I don't have the words to pray he knows my heart. When tears fill my eyes he catches them in his hands. The hands that over millions of years ago that were nailed to a cross and bleed for MY sins. For my weakness. For my storms that I face.

Dystonia doesn't define me. I define it! Through the good days and through the bad days. Jesus overweights the broken pieces in my story. 

Don't allow one stressful part of your story to define you! You are so much more then your struggle.

"Just write your story...Write your story on my heart."